I take each day in stride, taking one step after another, going through the motions, just to get by. And I have no one to turn to, no one I can just talk to who won't try to give me advice or baby me. I need someone who won't take my side, or throw false pity at me, just someone who will let me cry on their shoulder and just listen.
I keep hurting the one I love most. He chases after me like a loyal puppy dog. He throws pity at me and tells me he loves me. He coos and holds me tight telling me everything will be alright. He makes it worse like I'm the knife that keeps cutting his wrist. The more he nuzzles the more it hurts. And I have no one to turn to who will just sit there and listen. Perhaps I write this as a plea. Perhaps I half wish it were him who would sit down beside me and just listen to what I have to say, sitting still and intently and I curl up in his arms and cry, but having said this would make such a wish fake and merely my words motivating him to do such a thing.
Maybe if I cry on a bench somewhere a stranger might walk up to me and just ask if I was ok. Not out of sincerity but merely out of a notion that that's what he or she ought to do, listen to some person cry and then nod out of politeness and be on their way. Knowing I could just say what I have to say out of no real burden to them and they, being a stranger, would feel no pity or heart break by me expressing my woes. Such a lack of emotion, merely words and polite gestures. No emotional burden or commitment. How refreshing that would be.
Comments (2)
------> <------- Just saying.
um... well... that's nearly impossible. If you curled up on a bench and cried, and a stranger comes over to ask if you're ok, doesn't mean they won't feel sorrow or pity towards you for your problems. If they didn't feel sorrow or pity, they wouldn't ask you if you were ok.